A Mother's Work

"A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done."

Oh, how I've been feeling this lately! Even though we've been living in our current home for about a year now, I still feel like there are many things not in their proper place. You know, the table cloths that got stashed in our bedroom when we moved in are now needing a final resting place elsewhere. And my candle stash that used to be in a hat box has outgrown it's space and needed a bigger one. So lately I feel like I've been doing a lot of rearranging and not much cleaning. As a result, my house never feels clean enough.
I love my husband dearly, but sometimes I wonder. As a woman/mother/wife have I "sheltered" him by taking care of things too efficiently in our first few years of marriage? There are times I would like help preparing dinner but it's difficult for him to do so when he has no idea where things are in the kitchen or how to make something other than quesadillas.
He tries, he really does. And he often offers to help, but I end up doing it alone because it's easier.

Sometimes in the morning I'll wake up to the baby fussing over the monitor, and instead of feeling refreshed I feel like I haven't slept in days. And I wonder why! Then I remember that during the night the baby cried for her pacifier, one son had a bad dream and woke up screaming, and the other son informed me that he had to pee and, oh yeah, had wet the bed. It is those mornings I wish I could push a pause button on the rest of my life and fall back in bed for a few hours of sleep.
What is it that pushes me to get up even when I'm exhausted? My husband seems to have no trouble sleeping through the crying baby, or the constant clamoring of roughhousing boys. Why do I, as a mother, find myself jerked awake by the slightest cry of one of my children? And how can my husband sleep peacefully and deeply even when I turn up the baby monitor full blast? Why is it that when I think I am at the end of my rope and need a break from my kids, I spend the couple hours I am given in reprieve wondering what the kids are doing and if they're being taken care of properly?
I love being a mom! I love the snuggles and kisses and baby "eating" my face. I love day trips and comforting a sad toddler. I love when one of my kids learns or does something new and their face lights up with pride in themselves. It's an amazing thing, to be a witness to every part of this little person's life. Being a mom truly is the most satisfying "job" in the world!