G.I.G.O.

"The school will teach children how to read, but the environment of the home must teach them what to read. The school can teach them how to think, but the home must teach them what to believe."

When I was a kid I had a cassette tape with a song called G.I.G.O. This was right about the time when computers where becoming available to the public, so it was an important song. It stands for Garbage In, Garbage Out. Putting garbage into our minds/computers produces nasty, dirty, junk thoughts/processes. But the rest of the song says "Clean thoughts in, clean thoughts out...will keep you safe from G.I.G.O"

When my husband and I were in Master's Commission, one of the rules they had was no movies rated above PG. It sounds pretty harsh, but in reality it was a great thing. How can you be in a super-devoted-to-God state of mind while putting garbage into your mind? How can you learn how to serve and be kind to others while watching films with language, innuendos, immoral scenes, etc?
Since then, DH and I have held to this standard, for the most part. Even then, there are lower rated movies that have come into our home and disturbed us and our kids. One of these is the new Scooby-Doo videos. Kids love that show, right?! So did we, until our kids started waking up with nightmares, not wanting to go in a room because they thought one of the monsters from the show would be there. You know it's pretty disturbing to a kid when they come up and say "We need to get rid of all the Scooby-Doo's 'cause it makes my mind scared and I have bad dreams."

So, live action, drama, animated, anything. If it's not beneficial, why watch it and allow it to influence your thoughts? You don't believe me, that these things affect your kids? Try something. Follow a super strict movie guideline, and explain why. That we don't want to allow bad thoughts or ideas into our minds, that God wants our minds to be pure and clean and devoted to happy peaceful thoughts. Do this for at least a couple months. Then show a "bad" movie. One with intense music, monsters, you know the type. And observe your kids. Watch their eyes grow wide, their grip on your hand tighten. Or maybe they pull away and become so engrossed in it that they forget all about their favorite food they were eating. Seriously, it will affect them. And then watch for attitudes, nightmares, acting out, etc.
Now, I'm not perfect by any means. But it angers me that we'll be visiting family or friends and a movie that is not appropriate for little children is being watched, or absently left on the t.v., and when I ask for something else to be put in I get appalled looks, and comments like "Oh really. He gets nightmares from this?!" Of course movies with intense action sequences, people discovering dead bodies, people yelling and shouting and shooting at each other, etc. will bother them! And it should bother us adults too.
There's a stirring in our stomach when we see a grotesque scene on t.v. Maybe your face twitches with disgust, but you just can't pull yourself from it. Or your heart rate picks up and you find yourself unable to switch the channel. When you feel that, remember G.I.G.O. Garbage in, Garbage out. Clean thoughts in, Clean thoughts out.

And, I'm sorry, but I can't resist the urge to throw this in. I know that not everyone agrees with me, and that's fine. But for our family from the episodes I have seen and the attitudes I have observed, we do not allow Spongebob in our household. And there's enough other people out there like that, I don't think it should come as a big surprise to anyone when I say that. Not like I go throwing that out there wherever I go. On the contrary, I try to be quiet with my own opinions, unless it directly affects my kids. Like when I tell the attendants at Playland to not put in Spongebob while my kids are in there. So my boys know how I feel about it, and I have explained why and they understand.
One day DS1 and I were getting a video from Redbox. A little girl and her dad were right behind us and the girl was looking at the pictures of the movies and commented that she wanted to get the Spongebob movie. DS1 pipes up, embarrassing his mother, "We don't like Spongebob. It makes bad thoughts and dreams in our minds."
The man retorts, "Oh, it's not a bad show. We like it. It's funny and pretty good." Grrrr. Look guy, I know you may like it, but it wasn't Me who said something, it was my kid. If my kid says we don't watch it because it makes bad thoughts and dreams, don't try to tell him it's OK. Seriously. I'm not telling you to put your fat little girl on a diet, you don't try to influence my kid. Thank-you.

But really, all opinions and personal preferences aside, think about this in the big picture. Please re-evaluate what our kids are watching, and so internalizing. Really think about it. Pray about it. Ask them about it, how they feel when they watch it. And if they are having bad dreams, consider if this could be contributing to them.

It is something I am passionate about. I wish I could let my kids visit someone and not worry about them being allowed to watch inappropriate movies. And not just movies, but adult language, music, pictures. We need to protect our kids because no one else is going to. Speak up for them. Protect them. Lets introduce a new measure of innocence into our lives.
Thanks for listening and not judging me too harshly for my outspoken opinion.

Prodigal Child?

"Never despair of a child. The one you weep the most for at the mercy seat may fill your heart with the sweetest joys."

Something happened today that made this quote pop out at me. Now, I am not at a point in my life where I am despairing of a child, or weeping over him. But I do worry some times when one of my boys has trouble achieving or welcoming a new situation.
Today was the first day of swimming lessons for the boys. DS1 was super excited, wanting to go to the store to buy goggles and just dive in and go for it. DS2 on the other hand wanted nothing to do with it and cried as I was changing him into his swimming trunks. He calmed down enough to walk to the pool area, but the whole time kept telling me "I don't want to swim. I don't want to."
But he let me put on the floaty belt, and lead him to the steps. From there the instructor took charge and kept a hand on him. She was wonderful with him and let him ride piggyback the entire time, while encouraging him to kick and participate at the same time.
He even sat on the edge and "jumped" in. I was amazed.
Now, I was super proud of DS1 for doing a wonderful job, and it was fun watching him play in the water. But I had such a proud heart and such joy from watching DS2 do something he originally didn't want to do. I am so proud of him for trying it (even though I had to bribe him to get the belt on!), and even more proud of him that he didn't cry or throw a fit once he was in the water. What an amazing feeling!

I can only imagine how a parent of a wayward child must feel. To see their child wandering away from truth and love and peace to a life of pain and anger and distrust. But what incredible joy they have when that wayward child returns to the right path. When they learn how to love and accept forgiveness. I'm sure the parents hearts fill with unspeakable pride to the point of bursting.
And how much joy God must feel when one of his children returns. Really made me picture the prodigal son story.
I have to admit, I've always related more with the "other brother". You know, the one who didn't run away and waste his inheritance. The good one. The one who followed the rules and was there for his father. Yeah, that would be me. But now as a parent I understand the father more. How could you possibly reject a child you had almost lost hope for? How could you not be glad that your son had returned, a bit wiser and understanding?


"How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure"

A Mother's Work

"A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done."

Oh, how I've been feeling this lately! Even though we've been living in our current home for about a year now, I still feel like there are many things not in their proper place. You know, the table cloths that got stashed in our bedroom when we moved in are now needing a final resting place elsewhere. And my candle stash that used to be in a hat box has outgrown it's space and needed a bigger one. So lately I feel like I've been doing a lot of rearranging and not much cleaning. As a result, my house never feels clean enough.
I love my husband dearly, but sometimes I wonder. As a woman/mother/wife have I "sheltered" him by taking care of things too efficiently in our first few years of marriage? There are times I would like help preparing dinner but it's difficult for him to do so when he has no idea where things are in the kitchen or how to make something other than quesadillas.
He tries, he really does. And he often offers to help, but I end up doing it alone because it's easier.

Sometimes in the morning I'll wake up to the baby fussing over the monitor, and instead of feeling refreshed I feel like I haven't slept in days. And I wonder why! Then I remember that during the night the baby cried for her pacifier, one son had a bad dream and woke up screaming, and the other son informed me that he had to pee and, oh yeah, had wet the bed. It is those mornings I wish I could push a pause button on the rest of my life and fall back in bed for a few hours of sleep.
What is it that pushes me to get up even when I'm exhausted? My husband seems to have no trouble sleeping through the crying baby, or the constant clamoring of roughhousing boys. Why do I, as a mother, find myself jerked awake by the slightest cry of one of my children? And how can my husband sleep peacefully and deeply even when I turn up the baby monitor full blast? Why is it that when I think I am at the end of my rope and need a break from my kids, I spend the couple hours I am given in reprieve wondering what the kids are doing and if they're being taken care of properly?
I love being a mom! I love the snuggles and kisses and baby "eating" my face. I love day trips and comforting a sad toddler. I love when one of my kids learns or does something new and their face lights up with pride in themselves. It's an amazing thing, to be a witness to every part of this little person's life. Being a mom truly is the most satisfying "job" in the world!

Journal Excerpt 1

"If a child lives with approval, he learns to live with himself."

I want my children to be so used to hearing how smart, wonderful, special, handsome/beautiful they are that when they look in the mirror that's what they see. I don't want them to grow up criticizing their looks or abilities or overall value. I want them to be comfortable with who they are, and to realize how absolutely special they truly are.

Goal for today:
Today, make a point to hug your child at least 5 times and tell them something specific you love about them. Something about their personality, looks, an action they did, etc. I guarantee if you make a point to do this each day your kids will blossom. And don't let the number 5 hinder you...never let an opportunity pass to let your children feel valued.

Why Mariposa?

Mariposa=Butterfly
My sons were born at an extremely rough time in my life. Maybe someday I will find the time to write about it. But because of the events surrounding, I was unable to give them the things I dreamed about, to create a spectacular and beautiful nursery filled with anything they could possibly want or need.
When I discovered I was having a girl this last pregnancy, I really wanted to do more for her than I had been able to do for my boys. My husband and I painted her room a soft purple, with accents of dusty rose. We put up a wallpaper border of cheerful, smiling butterflies...whimsical and soft. The purple butterfly curtain made by my husband's grandmother is supported by a rod w/ butterfly ends. Her bedding is butterflies as are many of her clothes. I'm drawn to this flying insect in a way I cannot describe.
Of course butterflies are pretty. I love the bright colors, the softness and gentleness they portray. The way they flit softly from place to place. Children are enraptured with them. When my boys play outside in the summer and see one float past, there are squeals of joy and laughter, "Look Mom, look! A butterfly!" Artists depict them as happy, cheerful, peaceful. Their colors are gay and bright, bold even. What's not to love about this creature?
I think this theme took hold of me because of the differences in my life now. 5 years ago I was expecting with my first child. It would be months before my first anniversary, and we had finally found an apartment to live in. What a relief to be out of our parents' houses. We had little money, little freedom to decorate, and not many close friends.
Fast forward to this last pregnancy. We live in a house we rent from my parents, my husband has a better job, we have accumulated furniture and possessions and have more confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Our lives are completely different.
I feel like I have gone through my own metamorphosis these last 4+ years as a mom. I am stronger. I like myself more. I am not always afraid to speak up for myself. I hardly recognize the person I see in pictures from that time.
I intend to write about things I have learned along the way through this metamorphosis. Share about the highs and lows, the struggles and triumphs. Laughter and tears. Quotes I have recorded along the way. Excerpts from journals I have recorded for my kids.
This is my journey.