A few weeks ago my oldest son asked a question that let to me having to discuss reproduction. When I later told my husband what I had said to DS1 he was slightly shocked. Now, when I explained myself, that DS1 had been asking more and more questions, and that I was giving the age appropriate condensed answers, my husband relaxed. We have always tried to be open with the boys about body parts and their names. It can be embarrassing, having them nonchalantly mention the name of a certain body part in the presence of someone else, but we feel it's healthier this way than keeping hush-hush about everything.

Another interesting thing I have noticed about my boys is how much they do NOT listen. I have learned this is a pretty common problem in raising boys, and have found Dr. James Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys" to be extremely helpful. If you suffer from the same seemingly hearing impaired family members like I do, here are some helpful hints (that always seem harder to implement in the heat of the moment):
*Be sure you have your son's attention when giving them direction.
*Physical contact works wonders...a hand on the shoulder, hugs, hands on either side of his face.
*EYE CONTACT, and not the glazed over staring into space look. Make sure your son looks you in the eye when you are giving direction.
*Have him repeat back to you what you just said.
*Expect an immediate response. If he waits to finish what he's doing, i.e. book, video game, etc., he'll most likely forget what you told him to do.
***These also help in communicating with husbands.

Recently, I was blessed by giving birth to a beautiful little girl, and I have since been finding out how truly different boys and girls are. Where my boys instinctively make car noises when playing with Hot Wheels, DD1 either chews on the cars, or holds it to her ear and says "Hi."
The boys would hear us say "No. That's not a cupboard for you to play in," and they would pick up the pace to beat us to the off limits object. Now, DD1 will sometimes do the same (after all, it's in our nature to want what we can't have), but she is determined to make us feel bad about denying her anything she wants. She'll wail and flop on the ground with great big crocodile tears flowing down her cheeks, and her face will turn splotchy from crying. Talk about emotional!

I finally finished reading Dr. James Dobson's "Bringing Up Girls" and found a few things interesting enough to stick with me.
*From the ages of 6 months to 3 years, a baby girl's brain is bathed in estrogen at an extreme amount. So when your little girl seems to be PMS-ing, she is (in a weird sort of way). Crabby one minute, lovey the next, never know exactly what she's thinking, cries like you're torturing her when she doesn't get her way....Dr. Dobson calls this the first puberty.
*A loving and involved father brings so many blessings to a little girl, but an interesting tidbit is this; the daughter of an involved father may experience a delay in puberty. When a girl is young, her body is picking up her daddy's pheromones and chemical reactions are taking place in her body. This reaction can delay the onset of early puberty, which in turn can protect her from certain diseases in the future. It's obviously not fool proof, but it definitely makes sense. At the beginning of time, when life was all about surviving, if a girl lost her father early on, it could be a death sentence. With her father gone, her body would not be picking up on those fatherly pheromones, which in turn tells her body to become a woman early on. This would make her a candidate for marriage, which would in turn bring her safety and protection from her husband.

So, all that being said, we've got a lot of varying dynamics in our household. We have two rambunctious boys vying for dominance, and a little girl in the middle of her first puberty. Phew, it's exhausting! But so worth it!

Reflections

I have been really wanting to write again, searching for ideas, and at times finding them. But those would undoubtedly be the times when I was about to put the kids to bed, or leave the house, and would soon forget what it was I was going to write. And I sat down tonight intent on discovering just the right thing to blog about, and nothing came to mind. I thought to myself several times, "I just don't see where I've changed."

And then I thought, well, maybe that's the problem.

Have you ever seen the movie "Mulan"? I have always loved the song Mulan sings partway through while watching her reflection in the water. "Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?" There is just this haunting searching cry that I feel my own heart echo each time I hear that song. Who am I? Why do I feel so different on the inside than the me I show on the outside? Does everyone look different on the inside, or is it just me?

But why do I still feel this way? I thought these thoughts of longing and misplacement were issues only adolescents deal with. I thought that once I crossed the threshold of motherhood, wife-hood, or at least the ripe ole' age of 25 I would somehow be exempt from feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. And I am learning that, unfortunately, I was wrong.

When do we as women (or men if any man should ever choose to read this) finally reach a point in life where we are content with who we are, the choices we have made and will make, and are truly real both inside and out? I'm sure it's different for every person, that we can't set an age to it. I wish we could. It would be so assuring to be able to say, "Well Kei; I know you don't feel very confident/beautiful/competent/important/interesting/etc..... right now, but you only have 2 years left until you reach fulfillment! Keep plugging away and you'll make it!" How wonderful that would be!

The other night I watched a new Veggie Tales movie: Sweet Pea Beauty. It was very princessy. I love the illustration there was when the queen became uglier in action and thought, she also became uglier on the outside. In comparison, Sweet Pea Beauty was kind, sweet (of course), compassionate and generous, and was beautiful on the outside as well. The Bible verse QWERTY quoted at the end was "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30.
The Bible also says to "delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalms 37:4.
A person can put 2 and 2 together and come to the conclusion that I know I must have heard before a dozen times. Delight in the Lord. Love Him. Obey Him. Keep His commands. Love your fellow man (the second commandment in Jesus version). Delight in the Lord and the desires that He has placed in your heart to prosper you will be given to you. The beauty, the confidence, the success we try so hard to achieve are all things we look to to make us happy and fulfill us. But we are left feeling empty and unknown because they can never take the place of our awesome creator and Father.

So, will anyone embark on this journey of learning to delight in the Lord with me? Does anyone else even need to embark, or are you already there? I know I cannot be alone in this place, that there is someone else out there feeling the same as me. What will we do about it? Continue to feel lonely, or unloved, or unsatisfied? Or will we choose to take the first step?

*Definitely watch the second video.