Counting

What is going on in my life? Well, lets see...
*I'm stressing about the house situation from every possible angle
*My weight is up and I'm pretending I don't care
*I'm always tired even when I miraculously get 8 hours of sleep
*Headaches and backaches have become my companions
*I am really needing a break from the day to day care of little children.

Sounds great huh? I'm struggling with not complaining, because I do know that many people, actually the majority of people in the world, have things a lot worse than me. I have a pretty good life according to the standards of someone in, say, Africa. Or remote corners of the jungle.

But ya' know.... when I'm in a mood, I don't really care about that perspective.

But in the midst of my unsettledness and discombobulation I still have been attempting to make improvements.

I have discovered that I enjoy the time I have alone when I get up before my kids. Although it does mean waking up to an alarm (most alarming!) and missing out on some much needed sleep. The quiet, uninterrupted, peaceful space where I can enjoy my morning cup of coffee and a new magazine, or catch up on the news on facebook, is very enjoyable.

Even though I find it difficult to go for long, exhilarating, sweat-inducing walks with 3 children, we have been enjoying taking family walks together. All 5 of us. They are not long, very rarely cause me to break a sweat, and are exhilarating in the sense that I am outside and with my family.

We have been doing minor "home improvement" projects lately. We organized and cleaned the best we could with our limited situation the shop behind our house. For reasons mostly beyond our control it quite easily becomes a mess and is not a pleasant place to be most of the time. But we made some rather large pathways and did a bit of organizing.

Also, I have been growing an avocado tree. Well, 2 now actually. And it doesn't really count as a home improvement, but it is somehow enjoyable and gives me a tangible source of pride. The first one is pushing 3 feet tall and has enough leaves it's hard to keep track and count them. The pic at right is from over a month ago. It now has a newer set of leaves on top and the trunk is taller. The newest addition is a few inches tall, has 5 little leaves and is newly planted in it's own large pot. I love it!

I suppose I should end with a counting of blessings due to the complaining at the beginning.
*I do love my 3 children who sometimes get on my nerves. I may be the only mom whose kids do it, but I'll readily admit there are times I can't stand them. But I do love them and would never even wish to imagine life without them.
*I truly am thankful we are living in a house. Yes, it is a most basic need, that of shelter. This may not be the biggest, newest, nicest house out there (in fact FAR from it), but it has everything we need. AND it's not an apartment. And it's not a hut in the middle of nowhere with no running water or electricity. Perspective.
*Even though I have had back and head aches the last week or so, I thank God that generally I can ease the pain with OTC pain meds. A couple dear friends of mine suffer from chronic pain that won't be eased, and all I have to do is think of them when I begin to complain too much. Again, perspective.

I pray your day is blessed, cheery, and full of surprises. May God open your (as well as my own) eyes to the beauty surrounding you. The blessings in the midst of trials. The joy awaiting you as you choose to trust His way.


When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Priorities, Personality, Patience

"A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly." Proverb 14:29

A few weeks ago, my mom sent me a link to a site w/ a 30 Day Challenge... to work on goals, priorities and making them happen. I wasn't terribly excited about it, since I felt like I have things pretty together most of the time and, of course I know everything already (a little sarcasm).

Well, to make a long story a little shorter, I am not so much learning new things as I am putting old information into use.
*I have examined what my priorities are.
*I felt a bit of guilt when faced with the knowledge that 8 out of 10 goals for the next year centered more on ME than on my family.
*I have begun keeping a to do list and feeling a tingle of satisfaction when another "to do" becomes a "to done."

I have also been forced to examine certain parts of my personality that I am not too fond of. I have wondered numerous times why the person I want to be known for is nothing like the person I perceive myself to be.
I want to be selfless and generous, yet find myself behaving like an old miser (minus the millions of dollars old Mr. Scrooge had).
I desire to be known for my quick wit, kind words and open conversation yet find myself clamming up when in the company of others.
I have made it a goal several times to speak positively, and yet find myself nitpicking and complaining.

But there is one area that I think is the root of most of my problems. The dreaded "P" word.

Patience.

I heard long ago, when I was still a child, that you should not pray for God to give you patience unless you were willing to be tested in it. The thought is that when you ask for it, you suddenly find yourself in situations which require oodles and oodles of patience, which you feel you are already lacking.
So I have avoided praying for Patience.
With everything in me.
But the problem I seem to be facing is the more I avoid it, the more I find myself noticing that I need it.

I can't win for losing.


If you would like to sign up to do this 30 Day Challenge, here's the link. It really has opened my eyes to some things I need to work on. And I'm not even half through yet!

"People with goals succeed because they know where they're going."
-Earl Nightengale

What's Up with That?

"You are never really playing an opponent. You are playing yourself, your own highest standards, and when you reach your limits, that is real joy."
-Arthur Ashe

My mom talked me into doing this 30 Day Challenge thing that's all about making goals, priorities, to-do lists,... that kind of thing. I guess. Today was my first day and I'm not too sure what to expect.

The lady who does the video talks for it said one thing that made me think. She said to think about these things: "What are your values? What's most important to you? What do you want people to know you for? What do you want people to remember you by?"

Well, those questions are easy enough answered. I could sit right here and rattle off to you the answer to each of those questions. But then I noticed a strange predicament.

The qualities I want to be known by, the person I want people to remember when I am gone, the things that are most important to me... these are the things I struggle the most with day in and day out. The things I cannot seem to conquer. The areas I feel tested in most.
Why is that?

"A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done." -Vince Lombardi